Two weeks before, I found (there were some …) there were mice in our dormitory. When I wake up in the midnight I can hear the sounds made by them. As far as I see it, mice are very dirty, and they (they) bite anything they reach. And during the night, I heart the sounds made by it. It was where we put our plastic bags on. So the next day, I search for those plastic bags. When I open it and I found no mice there. And at the second night, I was wake up by the sound again. This time , they run over (run over) our shelf and make a loud noise that they would jump on my bed (that they would jump on my bed and )so I can’t fall asleep for the whole night. So( the second day) the next morning, I bought mice poison and put them in our dormitory (and them in our dormitory). And after a long periods, there still no mice be caught. And no mice were poisoned. I was really disappointed. When I was wake up by the sound of, the sound of mice biding again. I have became hostile and decide to do a big cleaning in our dormitory. After the cleaning I found no change after the cleaning. We cleaned the shit of the mice and cleaned up all trace of them.
Partner 小评：The whole story was told clearly and well order. Good job. You have clearly told about who, where, when, what happened and the result that all her effort was in vein in face of mice. As far as I am concerned, all is good except that you repeated some words again and again.