Memo sample

Summary: Despite the fact that “death” still remains a taboo rarely mentioned in public, a sociology of death eventually emerged in 1955, when a British sociologist published an autobiography titled, “The Pornography of Death”. Mourning, in essence, was considered to be both the right and necessary way to express grief towards the dead. Nevertheless, social norms regarding the act of mourning did change significantly throughout time. Since the beginning of history, the act of mourning has often been characterized by its frank and violent spontaneity in the expression of grief, and it was not until the 13th century did such characteristics disappear to be replaced by ritualized customs and ceremonious gatherings. In addition to rituals, society began imposing a period of seclusion on the family. By seclusion, it meant that people who have lost their loved ones (i.e. the survivors) were being isolated by the public at large to let them shelter their grief from others and to prevent them from forgetting the departed too soon. While seclusion was originally introduced with good intentions, living in isolation deprives the survivors of the emotional support which they could benefit from social ties. Without such support, they are then forced to live a life filled with misery and despair, which may drive them towards the brink of insanity. Nevertheless, the act of mourning was eventually prohibited in the mid-20th century. Another point noted by Aries was the absence of women and children at funerals. For the reasons of social seclusion, family members were often kept away from such rituals and it was a commonly accepted idea that children ought to be protected from experiencing such traumatizing event. Therefore, it was not until the 19th century when both women and children could be seen at such rituals. Last, but not least, Aries discussed the significance of cremation both in the archaic times as well as the modern times. While cremation was originally seen as an act of defying the Church by not burying the dead, such an act was gradually considered to be a sign of one’s modernity, an assurance of rationality and finally a denial of the afterlife.

Creativity and Application: Hong Kong is a city heavily influenced by both the Chinese and the Western cultures thus very often, people would talk about death in a euphemistic manner, avoiding to directly address the issue as can be seen from phrases like “he has moved on” or “he left” instead of directly saying “he is dead”. Like the people in the Western culture, the Chinese do mourn as well. In the archaic times, the Chinese will have to follow a lot of rituals (such as changing living habits or their diets) in remembrance of the dead and it is very common for people to be “socially secluded” for three years in order to engage in the act of mourning. Such practices echo that of the seclusion mentioned by Aries in the reading. However, today, people in the modern times are no longer subjected to any social seclusion even when their loved ones have died. Instead, funerals - along with similar forms of rituals in worshipping and recognizing the dead – served as a platform for friends and family members of the survivors to gather, allowing them to establish or to further strengthen their social ties such that support is offered to the survivors when and where necessary. More importantly, women and children are no longer being excluded from such rituals. While it may still be a common practice that children do not show up in their relatives’ deathbed, just as I was not allowed to visit my Grandfather on the night when he passed away, it has become a practice for children to show up at funerals as they are also considered as important family members. Therefore, in funerals, regardless of whether it is a traditional Chinese one or a Western one, children may be seen at the site, mourning for their beloved who has passed away. As Hong Kong is a crowded place with limited land, finding a place for burial would be both difficult and expensive. Therefore, there is an increasing number of people who would choose cremation as a way to dispose of their dead bodies. More importantly, people are also turning to use cremation for the reason of environmental conservation as it can be done without purchasing a coffin and thus less wood is used for the benefit of the environment.