英文谐音梗冷笑话大全

英文谐音梗冷笑话大全

Perfect Dad Jokes

1. — Which animal got the biggest breast? 什么动物的胸最大？

— Zebra (Z-bra) 斑马(Z尺寸胸罩)

2. — What do you call the deer with no eye? 没有眼睛的鹿是什么鹿?

— No eye deer (No idea) 叫无眼鹿(不知道)

3. — What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?一个迟到的番茄会对其他的番茄说什么)

— I will ketchup (catch up) 我会赶上(番茄酱)

4. — What do you call a bee from America? 来自美国的蜜蜂叫什么

— A USB (US bee). USB (美国蜜蜂)

5. — I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. 26个字母我只认识25个

— why?为什么？

— I don't know Y (why) 我不认识Y（我不知道为什么）

6. — Which is faster, hot or cold? 冷和热，哪个更快？

— Hot. Because you can catch a cold. (热更快，因为你能追上冷/会感冒 catch a cold)

7. — How do we count cows? (牛用什么来数)

— With a Cowculator(calculator). (用“数牛器”)(计算器)

8. — Why is “dark” is spelled with a “k” not a “c”? 为什么dark不能写成 “darc”?

— Because you can’t c(see) in the dark. (因为你在黑暗里看不见啊)

9. — What did my dog say when I asked him the answer for two minus two? 当我问我家的狗2减2等于多少，他说了什么?

— He said nothing. (他什么也没说 / 他说什么也没有)

10. — Why shouldn’t we give Elsa a balloon? 为什么不能给艾莎气球?

— Because she willLet It Go. (因为她会把气球放了)

11. — Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad? 谁和你更亲近？妈妈还是爸爸？

— Mom is close, because dad is farther. 妈妈更近，因为爸爸更远。（Father与Farther谐音）

12. — What do you call a pig from the dinosaur age? 恐龙时代的猪叫什么猪？

— A Jurassic Pork (Park) 侏罗纪猪肉(公园)

13. — What do you call a bee trying to make up its minds? 一只犹豫不决的蜜蜂，我们叫什么？

— May bee (Maybe) 可能是

14. — Do you know why Tesla is so expensive? 你知道为什么特斯拉这么贵吗？

— Because they charge us a lot 因为它们经常要充电(Charge还有要价的意思)

15. — If you think Thursday is sad, then wait two days.如果你认为周四是难过的一天，那再等2天。

— Because it will be a Sadder day (Suturday) (因为2天后就是周六啊)

16. — Good romance starts with good friendship, but bad romance starts with ....? 美好的爱情从美好的友情开始，那糟糕的爱情从什么开始呢？

— RA RA RA A-A ~RO-MA-RO-MA-MA GAGA-O-LA-LA (来自歌曲Bad Romance)

17. — Why did a blind man fell into the well? 一个盲人为什么会掉井里？

— Because he can’t see that well. (因为他看不到那口“井”)

18. — What do you call someone with no body and no nose? 没有身子也没有鼻子的人叫什么？

— No body knows (No body no nose)没人知道(无身无鼻人)

19. — Did you know steven King has a son named Joe? 你知道Steven King有个儿子叫Joe吧？

— I am not Joe King(Joking) but he is (我不是Joe King但他是) 我没开玩笑。

20. — Don’t read Tony backwards? 不要倒过来读Tony

— Why? 为什么？

— Y not(Why not) 为什么不呢？

21. — What would you call a witch that is on the beach? 沙滩上的女巫叫什么？

— Sandwich (sand witch) 三明治(沙滩女巫)

22. — Which day of the week do the chickens hate the most? 鸡最讨厌星期几呢？

— Friday (Fry Day)星期五(煎鸡的一天)

23. — What kind of music is ballons scared of? 气球最害怕什么音乐？

— Pop Music 流行音乐(Pop有爆炸的意思)

24. — Do you know how to keep warm in a very cold room? 你知道如何在一个冷的房间保持暖和吗？

— You can stand in a corner, because it’s always 90 degrees.你也可以站在一个角落里，因为那里一直都是90度.

25. — Why did the cold war end? 你知道冷战为什么结束了吗？

— Bacause global warming started. 因为全球变暖开始了。

26. — Why can’t you push a bear? 你为什么不能推熊？

— Because it is Pull a bear (Polar bear)北极熊

27. — What’s the different between me and a calendar? 我和日历有什么不同？

— A calendar has dates.日历有约会而我没有。

28. — I told my wife she should embrace mistakes. 我告诉我老婆应该拥抱错误。

— And then she gave me a huge hug.然后她给了我一个猛烈的拥抱。

29. — Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.今天在银行，有一个老太太让我帮他查一下她的“平衡性”

— So I pushed her over. 所以我把她推倒了(Balance有银行卡余额的意思)

30. — Why did the can crusher quilt his job? 为什么易拉罐压碎员离职了

— Because it was soda-pressing (So depressing) 因为让人太抑郁了。

31. — Why did the scarecrow win an award? 为什么稻草人获奖了？

— Because he was outstanding in his field.因为他在他的领域非常突出(Field也有田地里的意思)

32. — What did the Beaver say to the tree? 河狸对树说了什么？

— It’s been nice to gnawing(knowing)you. 很高兴啃(认识)你

33. — Dad, can you put my shoes on? 爸爸，你能帮我穿上鞋吗？(爸爸，你能穿上我的鞋吗)

— No, I don’t think they’ll fit me. 不，我认为不太合适

34. I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered. 我很害怕日历，因为日历

上都标了数字（寿命不长，时日不多）。

35. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera. 洗澡时唱歌是很愉快的，直到当你嘴巴进泡沫之后，那就是肥皂剧了。

36. — What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? 穿领带的鱼叫什么？

— Sofishticated(Sophisticated). 太复杂了

37. — What did the ocean say to the beach? 海洋对沙滩说了什么？

— Nothing, it just waved. 啥也没说，只是挥了挥手。

38. — What do you call a factory that makes okay products?\" \"A satisfactory. 一个生产好产品的工厂叫什么？

— A Satisfactory 满意工厂

39. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? 为什么一个鼻子不能有12英寸长？

Because then it would be a foot.\"因为那将会是一英寸了（一个脚了）

40. — What do you give an injured lemon? 你会给一个受伤的水果什么东西？

— Lemon-Aid (Lemonade) 柠檬水

41. — How do you make 7 even? 你如何把7平分？

— Take away the s. 把S去掉

42. — What time did the man go to the dentist? 这个人什么时候去看牙医？

— Tooth hurt-y (Two-Thirty)牙痛的时候，发音像是2点30分。

43. — What does a bee use to brush its hair?蜜蜂用什么梳它的头发？

— A honeycomb 用蜂巢（用蜂蜜梳子）

44. — How does the moon cut his hair?月亮如何剪他的头发？

— Eclipse it 月食，遮住他

45. — What did one wall say to the other? 一面墙会对另一面说什么？

— I'll meet you at the corner 我们在转角见

46. — What did the zero say to the eight? 零会对八说什么？

— That belt looks good on you. 那根皮带很适合你。

47. — Where do fruits go on vacation? 水果去哪里度假了

— Pear-is 巴黎

48. — What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? 玉米宝贝会对玉米妈妈说什么吗？

— Where's Pop Corn? 玉米爸爸在哪？（爆米花在哪?）

49. — How do you get a squirrel to like you? 如何让松鼠喜欢你？

— Act like a nut 表现的像颗坚果一样

50. — Why don't eggs tell jokes? 鸡蛋他们为什么不讲笑话呢？

— They'd crack each other up 他们会相互碰碎的。