中美家庭教育方式比较-文献综述

中美家庭教育方式比较-文献综述

1. Introduction

It is obvious that children are the future of the country and the family education is the first step of children's growing. In the 21st century, international competition is becoming fiercer. And it is a competition for talents fundamentally. Thus, each country should pay more attention to family education in the education projects. Consequently, so many countries are researching how to teach the children and how to create the better family education. However, in the world, many people only combined all kinds of family education ignorantly, which has a bad influence.

Nowadays Chinese parents have become more aware of the importance of their children’s education that they hope they can provide their children with the best education they can afford. However, there are many parents adapting very harsh and extreme methodology, which is incorrect, and very common in present China. In order to find a better way to educate our children, we should study other countries’ experiences. There are many types of family education in the world, and American family education is the most famous one. So it is necessary and significant to make a comparison of the differences of family education between America and China. This paper is written to compare Chinese family education and American family education superficially, which may offer some lessons to family education.

2. Literature Review

As we all know, family is the first place and plays an essential role for the children to receive initial education．In order to better understand the importance of family education, I studied many works of some famous scholars and experts. They have studied the topic from many different angles, such as the definition, the aims, the methods, the results and the reasons and so on. From their studies, I realized that China and America have remarkable differences in family education．so，right understanding and drawing lessons from advanced foreign education methods are of great realistic significances to facilitate the healthy growth of children and to enhance

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the quality of future talent．However, there is something that I thought different from those experts, since we should not only focus on the weak point of Chinese family education, there is also some lessons that the Americans should learn from us. The following are what I studied from those famous scholars and experts.

2.1 The definition of family education

According to Meng Xiaojia:“Family education is defined as: The phenomenon that parents or the elder family members educate the children consciously, which is the most important part in education system.”(孟小佳，2010:193) Also, there is another similar saying from Wang Jing: “The family is the first as well as the last school of mankind. Everyone is receiving education and participating in education activities, consciously or unconsciously during his whole life. Family education influences individuals most profoundly and lasts the longest.”(王婧，2011:327) Huang Xiaoyong says that family education not only refers to parents or elder people’s teaching to the younger generation, but also the inter-education between family members.(黄小勇，2009:101)

2.2 The aims of family education

Huang Heqing says :“The aims of family education influence its direction and decide its results. Thus the aim is the core of family education, and it’s the basic reason of the differences of China and American education.”(黄河清：2003) Wang Dali points out that in America，the purpose of family education is to train independent children so they could survive in all kinds of social conditions and situations．However，in China，most parents expect their daughters to be phoenix like and their sons to be dragon like．They wish their children to go into a top university and find a decent job.（王大利，2011:172）

2.3 The methods of family education

Zhang Yangmei has mentioned: “Influenced by traditional culture, Chinese parents are usually more imperative than democratic, which do not benefit children’s healthy upbringing. We should put forward “relax and open” education.”(张仰媚，

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2011) On the contrary, Zhang Wei says: “American parents usually respect their children’s interest and decisions; the family education is democratic and open. They often solve different kinds of problems by discussing with their children equally.”(张威，2008:144)

The paragraph above is mainly about parents’ attitude to their children; there is also another difference between parents from the two countries. Li Xin writes in has article: “Chinese parents have over-protected their children, which lead to children’s dependence and make them devoid of the ability to recognize and evaluate their own value and capacity. While American parents tend to train children to live independently and only pay attention to their safety.”(栗新，2006:39)

2.4 The results of family education

Different methods lead to different results. Zeng Zhilan says: “American children show their strong ability to live independently since they are young. On the contrary, Chinese children and teenagers, even college students, though excellent in their study, lack of self-awareness and ability to adjust them to new environment, what’s more, they have strong reliance to others and lack of courage to do things.”(曾芝兰，2006:163) Due to this, “they suppose that what kind of person their children will be is up to themselves. As America is an individualistic country with a fine welfare system, parents don’t expect their children to support them after they get old so there could be fewer worries.”(邵旋&张晶中，2010)

2.5 The reasons of the two different kinds of family education

What Pu Dezhen and Sun Aixue point out is that the great difference of educational tradition is the basic cause which contributes to the differences of family education between China and American. (卜德镇&孙爱学，2008:108) “in family, children will accept their parents’ attitude to value gradually. China is typical country with community interest, it emphasizes the identification of the whole family not the individual, while American emphasize the awareness of “I”, individuals should be independent. They encourage competition rather than cooperation.”(焦潇，

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2008：139)

2.6 The enlightenment from American family education

“The important sign of modern society is digitalization and information. There is a “digital gap” in information between parents and children. Parents need to study and “grow up” continuously to shape children’s healthy soul.”(李昊凤 &闵正威，2008:22) This is just one aspect from parents themselves, “To educate young generations better, we need efforts from different groups. At first, the coordination between parents and school is the key point, only through close cooperation can we improve the education quality.”(李亚&周侠，2007:10)

Different education methods are the results of different culture; they have their own reasonability in respective cultural value. “To Chinese parents, family education should be over-all, and can’t only focus on the “intelligence education”, What’s more, they should not only pay attention to children’s physical health, but also to their mental health.”(胡骑兵，2010：39)

The above are all what I have learnt from the works of those famous scholars and experts, every part is important for me to study family education. So, in the following part, I will process my thesis according to those part, also, I will add something that I think different from them. Since Chinese family education and American family education each has its advantages and disadvantages, we need to be at a balanced side to study this topic.

3. The Definition of Family Education

Family education is defined as an education given by parents to children after the children are born. It is the basic and the most important education model of the society. In the dictionary, the definition of family education is explained in this way: Parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family. Different society needs different family education. There is also someone explained it in another way:

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Education is a society use to educate new generation with aims and systems.

Meng Xiaojia says: “Family education is defined as: The phenomenon that parents or the elder family members educate the children consciously, which is the most important part in education system.” For the sake of the changing situation, the definition of family education should be extended: Family education is not only the action of family but concerns the whole society. The aim of family education is not only at studying the family relation and living skills, but also the all-round development of every family member. Family education is not only the way that parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family, but all the family members educate each other. Family education is not only the education of the pre-school education, but also all life education.

4. Different Family Education Methods of the Two Countries

4.1 Methods of Chinese family education

4.1.1 Take care of everything for children in daily life

For the sake of sustainable and harmonious development, our country has carried out the one child policy as family planning, for this reason there’s an increasing number of families with one child, parents tend to over-indulge their children in a surprising way. They always try to do almost everything for their children, such as helping them washing, cooking meals, bathing, etc. let alone the housework. In short, many Chinese parents, especially the parents with one child, arrange and decide everything for their children or even become the substitution of their children almost in all aspects of life.

The serious consequence is that many children cannot do these things that they should do in their age. For instance, the three-year-old children cannot wear by themselves, the six-year-old children cannot tie their own shoes. “In the city, the primary school students need their parents to accompany them to go to school and go home, and they let their parents take bags for them; many middle school students

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cannot wash their own clothes; the most serious thing is that many university students need their parents to accompany them to enroll at the first year.” (曾芝兰，2006:163) In a word, many parents finish everything for their children.

4.1.2 Laissez-faire with children’s economic needs

Chinese parents are always laissez-faire to their children on economy. Many Chinese parents are obedient to their children’s any requirements on economy. Both rich families and poor families are likely to fulfill their children’s requirements without preconditions, because they hope their children have a superior sense when compared with others in material conditions. They save money from different expenditure or borrow from others to meet their kids’ demands. The serious result of these parents’ behaviors is that children can not understand the difficulties of life and do not know why they should save. The worst consequence is that many children do not like to do their own work, but ask others to do it for them by means of giving others money. We can see this kind of phenomenon here and there in our daily life. This is the direct consequence of the laissez-faire on economy.

4.1.3 Over-protect children in social activities

Many parents fear that their children will face a lot of difficulties or become bad boys in the society. They protect their children excessively in social activities and always reduce their children’s chances to contact with society or do not let them go to the outside alone. Once a dispute or an unpleasant thing happened between their children, they usually do not like to learn the truth but only accuse others. That makes the dispute into a seriously conflict or a dispute among parents. These parents always are proud of what they did for their children, because they think that they have safeguarded the interests of their children. But, in fact, they do not realize that what they did for their kids have a negative effect on the children’s growth because these behaviors have deprived of their children’s right and opportunities to experience the life that they should learn in the early age. And they have no chances to learn how to distinguish between right and wrong.

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4.1.4 Over-strict in children’s study

Compared with the connivance in daily life, economic needs and social activity, parents treat children’s study very strictly. Because of historical and traditional reason, almost everyone thinks that scholars should be respected without any doubts and have high status in the society. So they pay great attention to their children’s studies because they believe that knowledge can change ones fate. In fact, scholars are respected by people in most time. Hence, the parents hope that their children can obtain the same honor like the scholars in the future. Without thinking carefully and researching, we can conclude from practices in daily life that some Chinese parents, if not many, have been strangling their children’s interests in a way that is elusive to American. To be concrete, under the current Chinese family education, most children are arranged with assorted extracurricular classes where they are taught to learn playing the piano, drawing, singing, etc.,

4.2 Methods of American family education 4.2.1 About children’s interests

In the United States, children are encouraged and induced to develop their interest and do the things they are interested in. American parents will not prevent their children from doing what they like to do, and will not enforce their children to do what they do not like either. Maybe at the beginning the parents have requirements for their children, but at last their own choices are the most important.

4.2.2 About Children’s Creativity

As for cultivating children’s creativity, American parents encourage their children to innovate and surpass their predecessors in all fields. They think that children, like adults, have the independent ability of study, and they hold a tolerant attitude to their children’s creativity. They encourage children to explore and provide very different views on some problems and let children solve these problems through their own efforts. Even if children cannot get a positive effect the parents would not interfere with their children’s work; instead, they would let their children to be aware

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of the problems gradually in the process of developing and then correct their faults by themselves.

4.2.3 About children’s future

Most of American parents are not too concerned about whether their children will become famous in the future or not and they think that children should have their own choices. So they don’t pay much attention to arranging the children’s future, but create the best conditions for their children to grow freely. They only hope that their kids can become persons who can face various difficulties and environments, and can live independently.

5. The Reasons for Different Family Education between America and China

5.1 Historic reason

The United State is a nation of immigrants with a short history, where old-fashioned ideas are seldom preserve and new ideas are accepted easily and developed unrestrictedly under the influence of multi-cultural values. On the other hand, China is a country with a long history where values are mainly withdrawn, conservative and lack the venturesome and innovative spirits because of the influence of old restraints and small-scale peasant economy. In all ages, the children are considered to be provident, just like the old saying \"the greatest disobedient is have no offspring\". In China, children are everything for parents.

5.2 Economic reason

With all advanced force, a booming economy, a cornucopia of employment opportunities and light living stress, American people have a broad range of choices and open careers. In this competence-oriented society, parents believe that all job vocations are equal. But China is an academic-oriented society with a backward economy. In which living stress is heavy. People tend to place the happiness of their whole life on one vocation, so Chinese parents hold that the best way of life is to do

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well in study and find a good job. As a result, the objective of education is to receive higher education and hold an advanced academic degree. Maybe this kind of education will remain in a long time.

5.3 Cultural traditions

5.3.1 Different literary resources

Any kind of ideas will be showed by the culture in a specific form. China is an oriental country with a long history; its deep educational culture includes the elements of excellent family education. These outstanding thoughts go back to ancient times. And Confucianism is a key element in Chinese culture. Since its foundation by Confucius 2000 years ago, it has been at the origin of social rules and personal behavior in China. And the doctrine of Confucius and Mencius give a deep influence on family education in China. The Analects of Confucius and Mencius as the Confucian classic have had a deeper impact on Chinese lives over a longer period of time than any other book in human history. Confucius himself had a simple moral teaching: to love others; to honor one's parents; to do what is right instead of what is of advantage; to practice reciprocity and \"don't do to others what you would not want yourself\". These are applied in our family education widely. In our country, many patents attach importance to their children’s education environment. They always want to send their children to the top-quality school since the kindergarten.

In contrast, many American writers in the literary world wrote a lot of famous works concerning independence and equality, which influences the American family education. Ralph Waldo Emerson is a representative. His speech of the \"American Scholar \"is considered the Declaration of Independence of the intellects. He gains a high appraisal because he said \"envy is ignorance, that imitation is suicide. That he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion is on self-Reliance. He also thought highly of independence. He thought that the people who had an independence idea could succeed as the God helps those who help themselves. According to Emerson, we can see the real source of the independence in American culture.

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5.3.2 Different value orientations

American people emphasize the individual interest and self-achievement, whose cultural core is man-oriented. In the family, an individual has the highest right and is independent of the family relationship. So parents treat themselves and their children as two unattached units. They respect their children’s interests and choices, and encourage them not to give up their own hobbies. American parents pay more attention to enjoying their lives and they often go to cinemas, attend concerts, go dancing, or even dating.

Chinese people are particular about commonness that the collective interest is superior to the individual’s. in the family , parents treat their children as the extending of their own values. Children are the whole content of their life whose future life is designed by their parents in advance. Therefore in accord with their children’s competence, Chinese parent’ expectation is too high.

6. The Different Results of the Two Kinds of Family Education

Because the concepts and the methods of family education are different, the educational results show some obvious differences.

6.1 Results of American family education

The children and youth in the United States show the following characters when they are young. Firstly, their ability of independence is very strong. They do not depend on their parents or families from 18 years old. They often do some part-time jobs to supply their consuming requirements. Even many students from rich families also do part-time jobs. Secondly, they have the capability to adapt to the market economy. The children in America begin to manage the finance when they are young, which let children deeply understand that it is not easy to earn money, and help them to form a good habit. Thirdly, they have the abilities adapting to social environments, because they have experienced the life through their own work. Many teenagers in America are not afraid of bitterness and have the perseverance of overcoming

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difficulties. They can face difficulties calmly and live harmoniously with people around them; they also have the confidence and courage of being independent as a member of the society. These qualities and skills form the foundation of their future development.

6.2 Results of Chinese family education

On the contrary, Chinese children show the following characters. Although their schoolwork is better than that of American students, they can not live well independently for lack of independent consciousness. They strongly rely on other people and are passive in doing things. At the same time, they lack the abilities adapting to environment and face emergency.

6.3 Advantages and disadvantages of the two kinds of results

Maybe children in American act more independent than those in China, however, what I want to say is that Chinese children maybe show more filial obedience to their parents than those in American. We can watch on TV many times that there are lots of American children who beat their parents drastically. In my opinion, it is just because American children are too independent that they don’t think they need their parents’ help, and think little about them. On the contrary, in China, most people treat their parents well, and take care of them when they get old, for parents look after us when we are under age 18.

7. Enlightenment from the Comparison

The objectives of both countries’ family education put more stress on the “skilled people” than “qualified people’. Successful family education should be a combination of these two of which the principal objectives should be the latter.

Chinese family education usually neglects children’s subjective wishes. In family education, children are the main body and eternal cause of whether family education objective can be realized. Therefore, parents should pay more attention to children’s wishes. Followings are some suggestions in this regard:

First, although children are dependent on their parents, they are independent

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individuals who have independent opinions and understandings. The basic requests are that parents should listen attentively to their children’s ideas and consider their opinions carefully.

Second, when a conflict between parents and children’s ideas come up, parents should analyze and explain the situation to the children calmly rather than force them to obey. Being given the right of choice and responsibility, children tend to make rational choices.

8. Conclusion

It is very obvious that the future of a nation depends on the quality of young people, which needs to improve family education because family education is the foundation of the whole school education and social education, and it can’t be substituted by other forms of education. According to our country’s special circumstances, the number of one-child family is becoming larger, so family education must be improved in the project of educational reform and development and family education must be combined with school education and social education. Therefore, it is necessary to change traditional family ideas. First, parents should educate their children in social environment, in other words, they should not only teach their children the knowledge of survival, but also the responsibilities for the society. Secondly, they must cultivate their children’s consciousness of independence, self-support, cooperation and the spirit of caring for others. And developing the qualities of person requires parents, especially the families with one child, to completely change the wrong ways which they used in the past. Therefore, much can be learned from the ways of family education in the United States. Also, there is something that we Chinese do better than Americans. Maybe the two nations can learn from each other and provide children with the best family education.

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